Friday, January 26, 2007
Friday ( 26 jan 2007)
I was not even prepared to face it..
Why does it have to turn up like dat
I don't mind being alone..
But the thought of u asking me find another person realie crushed my heart
I noe u dun hate me or wateva
U only wan d best for me
Its hard for me to accept..
Its partly my fault too cuz i just follow wateva dat my heart says n ignoring the consequences
I noe u have been thinking it over n over
N dere seem to be a solution...
Its just dat both u n me r afraid to take dat step
Its true dat if we eva to take diz step...
Everything wud change
My life will neva b the same again...
5:36 PM
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Tuesday (23 jan 2007)
Ystd was my 1st dae of attchment n everything was so out of place... hate it man..i was not sure of how the wae d nurses operate d ward lah.. maeb steel blur n not prepared at dat tyme... but sumhow 2dae was d 2nd dae, n im beginning to like it.. maeb its not a torture afterall... its just dat we need to have d confidence to face reality.. yay! 2dae i got the opportunity to fetch patient at the OT.. it was quite interesting.. hv to do hourly parameter for 6 hrs seh.. hmm steel trying to adapt well...
Woah standing d whole dae till my feet hurts big tyme... just waiting for the weekend lah wer i can relax my feet.. Oopz maeb not diz week, need to help out for my frens's cuzen wedding preparation.. cannot wait seh..looking 4ward to see him..hehee!
Adui im not sure i can wake up for am shift on thurs.. have to trie lah by hook or by crook... if rab n khair can do so can i...
N guess wad d guy dat shiel admire is onli nxt ward lah... can c her face was shocked with astonishment.. mesti hapie giler lah too.. hehee.Aww i realie miss khair n rab... naseb at least shiel ader... lau tk boring seh...
K lah im super tired wana go sleep n tmr realie hv to choose patient liao for case study... 2pon im in a dilemma who to choose... nvm we'll c abt dat tmr.. k nitez everyone...
11:40 PM
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Saturday (20 jan 2007)The things dat we want soo much we can't getBut the things dat we don't want, we can easily getWhy is dat so??Im puzzled is diz d wae our life shud be..I noe how u feel but i shud also keep into considerationof her feeling..She's still a child..Maeb she steel dun understand the meaning of love yet..U shud try to take it slow.Its not dat i dun love u.. its just dat i dun wan to lose everything likethe fun,laughter,craziness n hapie moments we had togather..Im afraid dat i might lose all of diz if we eva to commit ourself..Lke dey sae we surely will quarrel over lil things..Arghh its driving me nuts..I want u all by myself but on the other hand, i dun wan u to leave her..I can't bear to see u being labelled if u eva leave her bcuz of meWill she eva understand???Im sorie if ystd i almost broke into tears...I promise u dat il be strong.. thanx dear for telling me dat u will alwaez b beside meand neva leave me alone...I noe u wish dat we can b togather n alwaez b hapie...will dat dae eva cum...We'll just have to leave it to fate.. Just noe dat ur name will alwaez b in my heart..
4:33 PM
Friday, January 19, 2007
Friday (19 jan 2007)
A game of three...
how challenging!!!
Wen will it ends.. will never noe.
U won't mind losing her but mind losing me..
Im shocked
Cuz ur d type of person who likes to live in denial
Is diz for real
M i dreaming or is diz reality?
Pinch myself n OUCH it hurts...
Just waiting to see where it will lead to..
12:48 PM
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Thursday (18 jan 2007)Ystd was like a perfect dae for me... i kept smiling all the wae home sae.. i realie enjoyed myself to the max tau..Like dere's no tmr lah... realie miz u big tyme... at least we get to fill in each other on our life.. yupe i agree we shud do it again n talktalktalk non stop...Alarr muz wait till april to meet up... datz like so damn long sae... nvm hope tyme flies by very fast.. rmbr u got a appointment with me to go shopping tau.. n sorie didn't get to lepak at ur hse.. maeb nxt tyme, i promiz kae...As soon as i get home ystd, went to kol him cuz he was bored while on the wae home... we talk n laugh like mad seh on the fone... his gerl didn't went to sch but instead went out with he frenz.. coincidence she didn't bring her hp... wah can survive meh without hp? If i was her i wud make sure dat my hp was with me before i go out.. he kol her but her sibling said dat she forget to bring her hp n skip sch.. he was super frustrated lah...Den he started to have the wrong idea of her... i tried my best to calm him down n cum up with manie reasons y she nvr bring her hp... maeb its purely dat she forgotten lah.. at last it didn't even convince him...Ard 10.00pm, he called me n told me wadeva happen n y his gerl didn't bring his hp... hahaa! At least nothing happen btw them alreadie is enuf for me lah... dunoe y i care soo much for him lah... talk for 10 mins n suddenly he just put done the fone like dat.. ard 10.30 pm he called me again n said dat she was rude n he was fedup with her? Wen i asked y, he sae dat his gerl told him not to mention abt me to her n she kept saying things abt me dat he dun realie like.. i was like huh? Perkara kecik ajer seh... rabiah2 told me dat he steel hv feelings for me if he dun like his gerl making false accusation abt me... is it true???Just put dat aside lah.. can't realie b bothered thinking abt it... uat kepala sakit tak tentu pasal uat aper kan.. just live the dae like no tmr lah..Haha well todae rabak seh i kena loyar back from Mr Clemaus... rab was soo hapie lah.. can't b blame cuz i alwaez tease her per... now its payback tyme.. hahaaaaa! Went to look for Ms lydia cuz khair n mira heaven get their theory test ppr grades... den saw Mr Clemaus. I said 'Yo Mr Clemaus'. His response was super funie til it makes me n rab laugh non stop.Nas: Cher u going wer?Mr Clemaus: Im going to class..Nas: So sad seh...we readie finish class,Mr Clemaus: Wad to do...but ystd i have leave so no need to cum to sch... dun b sad kaeDen khair,rab,mira n shiel started laughing lah.. kena balik seh.. tapi fun lah.Tkde keje nk uat kacau lecturer pon cukup.. hehee!
7:01 PM
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Tuesday (16 jan 2007)
OMG... attachment is nxt wk only n im not prepared yet to go out dere... diz tyme is surgical ward sae.. confirm fun one cuz got to c wounds... hahaa!Can't wait to do simple dressing on them... patients here i cum.. lol!
Well skip breakfast again todae.. wana diet lah.Rab alwaez sae wad for diet? No good u noe, u readie healthy n of acceptable weight what... guess we human will neva ever b satisfied of ourself.. wad to do its all human nature.. sumtymes i realie envy those who have a slim figure.. its like sedap mate memandang.. d best part is dat dey have a wide variety of clothes to wear..
hehe..
I wonder how all the models get dat kind of body... sum ppl can go to the extreme sae like one of my frenz who just ate bread for her meals n not rice at least i skip breakfast but neva fail to eat lunch n dinner... its all in the mind...I wonder how dey can eva resist temptations? Wad i think is dat we wan to look good to ppl's eyes... actualie the most impt thing is to have confidence.. we shud neva listen to wad ppl sae instead we shud listen to ourself.. as long as we feel good, dats d thing dat onli matters rite? haha...
If ur a person who eat alot n neva put on weight ( high rate of metabolism) like khair, d mcdonald no 1 fan ... wah surely best cuz dun hv to worrie of not fitting into ur pants size.. hehe. Well il have to look on the bright side like wad shiel sae.. as long as we r living, we shud eat to survive n savour everything, wad if one dae d world cum to an end... but make sure we shud eat moderately lah...
Kae lah till here den, got to continue my bio ica.. yahoo can't wait for it to end lah.The last one after dat can rest liao.. yahoo...
11:21 AM
Tuesday ( 16 jan 2007)Ola ppl.. sorie to make all of u worried about me.. im fine actualie. Its just dat i realie hv to settle myself down emotionalie n physicallie... did i look very sad n moody for the 1029 presentation?Didn't realise it till u told me... cum to tink of it.. maeb a bit lah, was sick n feeling down for the past few daez.. now im recharged n full with energy... N it was so sweet of u to msg me n ask abt my life? Didn't realie expect it.. im touched wen u sae dat u will alwaez b dere wen i needed sumbodie to talk to... thanx my dear fren..Im hapie dat u r okae now... dun eva blame urself for wadeva happens just now.. its totalie not ur fault. Its normal to joke around, guess she took it too hard. Everyting will be fine tomorrow.. i confirm she will surely msg u once she has cooled down.. just give her time kae.. wad matters to me is dat u r no longer stres n u get to release all ur tension at once... as long ur hapie im also hapie.. u can alwaez tok to me if u need me.. datz wad frenz r for rite.. guess i can multi task, talking to u n doing project at the same time ya.. hehe..
1:00 AM
Sunday, January 14, 2007
It seems dat u will neva change...
I have been waiting n waiting for dat dae to cum but it didn't...
Its so easy how ur feelings can fade for her
Will it ever happen to me??
Will ur feelings for me fade overtime??
Dat question kept playing in my mind..
Does ur words even meant aniething...
Do u noe wen u told me dat u hv fun talking n laughing..
my heart is totalie filled with jealousy
i dun meant to control u or wateva...
im just scared dat i might lose u..
datz all
12:38 AM
Sunday (14 jan 2007)How i wish i can shout out everything dat has been bothering me...Frenz? Is dere such thing as frenz?When u need me, i alwaez neva fail to lent a listening ear to u..but wen i need u, u r not dere for me.Its not dat i want aniething in returnits just dat i want u to sit beside me to advice me n show me the rite path..Is it too much of me to ask dat?Den y is there proverb dat says a friend in need is a friend indeed...Why i felt as if im being used n taken for granted?Now i noe d feeling of being left out..haiz!
12:23 AM
Friday, January 12, 2007
I suddenly felt emotion gushed in me
The love i have for u was kept bottled inside of me n held a deadlock against me..
Sumhow i just wana tell u how much i love u
But its just impossible..
U r alreadie been taken by sumone else...
I noe im too late..
REGRET is wat i feel now...
All i can do is just to reminisce all the moments we spent togather...
8:46 PM
Friday (12 jan 2007)Finalie 1029 presentation was over...
Dat was quite a relief lah at least we didn't get out of point...
But sumhow i just tot dat she was biased towards 2dae's presentation, keep asking us to rush cuz she got a class after ours...
Den aniehow put the entire fault on kia for giving the wrong info to the class n cuming late to class..
rest assured kia, u got me,rab n shiel as ur witness...hehe..
Rite after presentation... hv quite a short meeting for bio ica... need to draw a heart sae.. its like 3 years i hv not touch on arts... well just have to trie my luck.hope it does not turn out ugly. It was raining heavily lah... wow such a nice weather to sleep seh... went to banquet to buy food since i didnt hv a proper meal since morning.. alah tk sah kan lau tk pedas. So i scoop a big spoon of chilli.. until now my stomach still burning seh...well after i get home, ate my food n medicine n went to sleep...
Very tired arh... luckilie the weekends hv start.. its tyme to party. Not sure weather wana go out or just chill at home.. depends lor if its not raining.. hehe!
8:14 PM
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Thursday ( 11 jan 2007)
Have been sick for straight 2 daez... realie can't tahan seh.. been down with a bad flu n slight fever.. tot was not necessary to go to doctor... in the end i went to c the doctor cuz tmr iz my 1029 ica presentation.. dun want to sabo the group lah... shiel was so sweet of asking me to go doctor cuz she wud neva b at ease if im not well.. thanx darlin...N rab thanx for lending me a listening ear n making me feel betta ystd.. at least my confusion hv subsided...lurve u.. at least i noe i hv u darlings to hang on... not to forget kia n amira lah...
Haiz steel hv to go back to sch later to attend clinical lab prac... i dun wan to waste my tyme going for makeup lesson lah... kae lah feeling drowsy readie... just ate my medication just now... wana hv a nice nap 1st b4 going to sch.. hehee!
10:40 AM
Thursday ( 11 jan 2007)Im so caught in betweenI have been trying to break free from the cage dat i've build upon myselfIn the end, i failed
10:18 AM
Saturday, January 06, 2007
It realie doesn't pays to be kind
Is it wrong for us to be close?
I dun even see d big deal abt it...
We had been frenz for 6 years
Dun tell me u want to separate us just like dat...
Divided attention?
Dats wad u r unhapie abt...
Well datz plainly shows dat u r childish...
Please trie to grow up
Ur my senior kae..
B a good role model...
I just can't be bothered with u lah...
Anw everything lies in her hand
10:23 PM
Saturday ( 6 Jan 2007)
In the morning had to go to sch to do 1029 ica... woah can't realie wake up lah... cuz d dae b4 slept late due to talking on the fone with shiela... at least i was the 2nd to arrive lah.. n guess wat? Kia said dat everyone had to cum to sch on tyme... in the end he was late for 4 mins lah... 2pon he went to take taxi... woah ica realie top priority for him seh.. i tot u r budgeted wat.. hope ur allowance can last u till 24 jan which is alreadie the start of attachment..
Todae was the 1st tyme i brought my labbie to sch... super heavy lah.. but wad to do, wana finish the project fast mah... everyone was going out xcept for me... realie dunoe wer to go.. everywer is just the same for me...
Later dat aftn, i went to mygodmother hse to teache her pri6 daughter maths lah... my gosh it was super tough cuz she dislike maths alot n dat she need to think hard rite... after 1 n half hr later finalie she master the art of division... pheww! Finalie my hard werk does pays off!! Yay!
SATISFACTION is indeed sweet...
10:11 PM
How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you
You're the only one who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave
Cause we shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now
Cause there's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
So take a look at me now
When there's just an empty space
And you're comin' back to me is against all odds
And that's what I've got to face
I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around to see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
So take a look at me now
Cause there's just an empty space
But to wait for you is all I can do
And that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now'
Cause I'll be standing here
And you comin' back to me
Is against all odds
It's the chance I've gotta
Take
Hey yeah
Take a look at me now
12:57 AM
Friday, January 05, 2007
Friday (5 jan 2007)I felt soo cheated... why do u have to do diz to me?Its so cruel of u to give me dat itsy bitsy hope... Why can't u just draw a line btw us...Why did u even told me dat u steel love me wen u alreadie hv sumone special..U shud just hv told me dat u r steel in a relationship...I dun eva wana b accused of stealing u...Yes i do still love uBut why must u keep it from me?Even if i noe ur in a relationship... i wun eva leave u aloneI wud alwaez b by ur side as a fren..As long as ur hapie im also hapie...Now evrything is in a mess..U told me dat u wana make ppl hapie n not hurt them..But in the end u hurt 2 person instead o one..U onli think abt herWad abt me???I also have feelings...If trust is d thing dat is lacking in ur relationship with her...U shud prove it to her dat u r faithful towards her onli.If she wants me to stay away from uI can...provided she take good care of u physically n emotionalieHe is not strong as he seem..He realie need dat sumone to shower him with care n concernIm begging u to trie to understand him n love him wholeheartedly please.....Here i m once againIm torn into pieces...
10:12 PM
Friday (5 jan 2007)
Affection or Love???
Im confused....
10:08 PM
Friday (5 jan 2007)
Personality test for my 3 darlingzzz!!!Rab Darling..1) What is the important side dishes dat she can't live without?Ans: Vegetable... mostly r green leafy.. hehe n meat.. like rendang daging.. its been ages since we last ate dat at north canteen rite..2) What is her favourite colour?Ans: Mesti lah RED... a sexy colour or more associated with love i guess...haha.3) Her favourite passion?Ans: Dance... dats y she is in stage arts.. ade bakat gerl..4) What is one thing dat she can't do?Ans: coordinate both her head n shoulder at the same time...hehe me n kia can do it seh.. dun b jealous hor..5) What is she afraid of?Ans: Cockroach n when guys tell her dat they like her...6) What does she alwaez forgot when she is in a rush?Ans: her getah rambut... 7) How did she start of the new year in sch?Ans: By taking a taxi... hehe8) What level does she live at her housing estate?Ans: 15... cuz wen dere once for her hari raya openhse.. hehe9)What is d one thing dat u shud neva do?Ans: Dun eva talk to her wen she is msging... cuz she wun even hear wateva we r talking.. buat penat je mulut berbuih...hehe. Diz confirm dat she can't multitask...10) What is d song dat menyentuh her jiwa?Ans: last time it was BILA CINTA DI DUSTA... now lagu HEART... d next song is NEVER BE REPLACED...11) What is her favourite pickup line?Ans: Shut up lah... n okae fineScenario: Cast:Nas n RabAudience:KiaSetting: Mrt going towards jurongRab: Shut up lah nasNas: Im shutting up now lahRab: Okae fine..Nas: kena saman aper?Rab: kena saman salah berbual... ( laughing damn hard)Den rab will sae shut up again n d cycle will repeat... hehe..Kia just contribute by laughing...Khair Darling1) What is his favourite food in campus?
Ans: Mcspicy from macdonalds...
2) What is his favourite song now?
Ans: Dearest from Ayumi Hamasaki
3) Where does he buy his latest bag?
Ans: 77th street.. branded kan... harga oonli we 3 darlings noe... steel rmbr wad shiel last said at ECP... eee bag buruk mcm gnie mahal???... alah she's just kidding..
4) What's his favourite pastime?
Ans: sleeping...
5) Which level does he live at?
Ans: Level 1 lah... hehe. So good hari2 lei naek tangga... helps to strengthen his calf muscle... pdhal brape step jer..
6) What is he afraid to use now?
Ans: Mosquito coil... tkt nanti bag baru bau mosquito coil..
7) What is a no-no for him?
Ans: Chilli like sambal blacan... he can eat garlic sauce with fries but neva with mcspicy...
8) What can he do?
Ans: Flexes his arm... like professional dancers like dat... in the process of perfecting his chairne.. not sure how to spell.. must go n ask rab arh..
9) What will he do wen he is talking to sumone on the fone?
Ans: he will walk in circle with his fone without realising lah...
10) What's his reaction towards lame thingy?
Ans: stuck up look with his eyebrow raised...
11) What is d one thing dat he seldom do in the morning?
Ans: Eat breakfast
Shiel Darling...1) What meal will she eat if she feel less hungry?Ans: Nugget meal2) What's her fav colour?Ans: Purple... same like me...3) What is d one thing she will do wen she's sick?Ans: Shiel ngan makan bubur...Shiel: Macam ade benda mising ehk...shiel walk to dapur in a mak mak nyer styleShiel: tupon dier... (hai sambal blacan)2 tanpa kau me tk lei idop seh.. maklum lah me nie kan hantu sambal blacan... mcm tk sah g2 kan..4) What is her fav pastime?Ans: do her puzzle book sambil lying down with her chest on the ground... n kaki ternaek dangling in the air...5) What's her nature?Ans: Motherly nature n easily cair wen she saw a romantic scenery...aww!6) What's her hp routine like?Ans: 85% of the time her hp is silent... 15% it is ringing7) What is d shocking qn her mom recently asked her?Ans: Shiel tkde boifren ke?...hehe8) What is d one memorable place dat she misses?Ans: the playground with the swing at simei...9) What was shiel afraid of?Ans: When rab dangle her hp at 15th storey high...10) What is the most important thing to her?Ans: Breakfast is important n its start off ur dae with energy...hehe. Its rare 2 c her skip breakfast cuz her mom alwaez sediakn for her...11) What is d one good thing abt shiel?Ans: She is neva choosy wen it cums to food n its not easy for her to fall in loveI hope wateva ive wrote is correct lah... diz is wat i noe abt d 3 of my darlings... eventho we knew each other for a short time... our memories r longer lived... hehe.. just quoting wateva rab has eva old us... hehe,,, Lurve u all darlingzzz! Mae we b bestest frenz 4eva!!!
8:29 PM
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Thursday (4th Jan 2007)My mind was totally disturbed todae.. while i was in the mrt, i kept staring blankly n a lot of question is spinning in my head like a whirlpool...God noes how much tears i cried for u...The feeling steel hv not fade away since we last split...I cannot afford to see u suffer aloneI wana b there by ur side to lent u my shoulderBut i just can't...Its so complicating...The words dat u hv just said realie made me very devastated... i was looking forward to dat light dat was abt to shine on me n suddenly all my hopes was dashed n shattered... it realie aches alot.. M i fated to be like diz????
11:49 PM
