Y do i sumhow got dis gut feeling dat he has another gerl behind me... it has been 2 daes he neva kol me. Instead i hv to msg him to ask wad is he doing. Its like he dun care abt me aniemore.
Im realie so confused.After all the hassle n trouble dat he gotten into wit ayu, i neva fail to b by his side to comfort him.. wen i nd him, he is not dere by my side.Is dis wat u kol a relationship?I dun feel the love,care n concern dat i wanted u 2 shower me with..
My frenz sae we must alwaez trust our gut feeling... now i feel dat im living in fear n insecure.Im afraid i might lose him.I sumtyme wonder y d wae he msg or speak gave gerls the wrong idea? Den i realise his tone is the main factor. He also lyke to tease gerls.
I gave him evrything dat he wans... y r u so egoistic.Now adaes he neva ever tok abt anie gerls on the fone. Its very fishy lah seems lyke he is hiding sumthing from me... haiz.How long muz dis torment be.? I alwaes tot love was a beautiful thing but y m i suffering in dis relationship.... Y can't u ever repent sae for my sake n our relationship.... i onli hope for dat to happen.I've been waiting for it n will steel b waiting... cuz i believed dat he can change his behaviour...
10:43 AM
Ystd hari raya outing was super funnie lar...hahaa! Wana noe y? Den read on
I went to my auntie house for visiting lah... get to eat my fav kuih which is pineapple tart...rmbr hor, wen propose to me muz bring pineapple tart kae...wahaha! Just as my family n i was abt to leave the hse, my auntie gave me green packet. Dat is wat i alwaez look for wen i go visiting...even thou im a teenager, dere is steel a kid in evryone... rite?
My cuzie aged 12 yrs bully me lor... he sae
Kamarul: No shame alreadie 17 years old steel get green packet.
Nas: Okae wat at least im not werking.
Kamarul:Instead u shud b the one giving me lor... hahaa! Lyke 7 yrs old lah u...
Nas: My choice arh... wateva lah u..
Kamarul: 7 yrs old,7 yrs old,7 yrs old......
Nas: Eh 12 yrs old dun talk big arh....
Nas n kamarul: Nannie nannie poo poo
We argue realie lyke small kid... in the end we burst out laughing.N my my small cuzie maisarah was super cute.. she's onli 3 yrs old.U'll b shocked to hear diz... she scolded my sista vulgarities sae...d wae she said it was damn funnie.She realie make evrybodie laugh out so loud until my tears also trickle down sia... it was an enjoyble dae after all.
10:31 AM
Friday, October 27, 2006
Eloz ppl... another dae just went by in a flash of an eye...woah i must agree dat the tyme do pass by very fast sae..so fast readie my besties are going to sit for their major examz dat r the O lvls... munii n fira i wish ya all the best if ur reading my blog...
Kae lets switch topic... fuyoo diz year hari raya was damn shiok sae... especialie with the entertainment dat was presented by my cuzie.Hahaa! They almost make me laugh my head off sia. My 3 yr old cuzen rifaii( i tink dats how they spell) was so good at imitating the actors surely confirm can get award one. Realie enjoy the dae to the fullest man.
The best thing is dat i get to talk to my eldest cuzen shamima after a long tyme cuz she was bz travelling ard the world for sum exchange program. I can sae she was veri practical when talking abt love issue.She evn ask me whether is there such thing call true love?At that point of tyme i didn't noe wat 2 sae... she practically doesn't believe in it.
I told her abt my syg storie n all the challenges dat i have to faced.Den she gave me a scenario...if i was to replace my syg n put another person into dat place,he wud also do all the sweet stuff n evrything all the guys will do to impress me.Actualie there is nothing unique abt dat person is only the matter of how much tyme u spent with dat sumone.
Come to tink of it, it was half true n half false for me. Once u love a person,i agree it will be damn difficult to forget him but if another person come n do all the sweet stuff ur ex ever do, slowly ur feelings for ur ex will fade away... n u will start falling in love with diz new person,am i rite?
Its true during the 1st few mths just as the love is beginnig to blossom evrything looks so beautiful but as the mths goes by, slowly dere will b a lot of obstacles in love life... ever since i tok to my cuzen abt dat, i beginning to doubt my feelings towards him.
I kept saying dat i can't live without him but have i ever spare the thought abt how i live those 16 yrs without a guy in my life?Just spending my free tyme with my parents,siblings n frenz...its so puzzling sae but its true.
I will just let nature takes it course..if he is not my Mr Rite... den too bad i've to let him go no matter wat...hehee! Life is so full of action n drama... well dats wat makes it interesting..yay!
1:30 PM
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Guess wat! Ystd morning i initiate a breakup from him... i cannot take it aniemore.It was so hard for me to let out the word from my mouth. The moment i said the word 'break', i broke down.I can't bear to leave him despite the wae he treated me. The whole dae iwas moody.I tot it was gonna b easy forgetting him. No, it was super hard. In the aftn he msg me saying dat he was just joking. Not evrything can b joke abt... u must b serious at certain tyme wat. He kept comparing me with ayu n aishah( the gerl he neva met b4).He sae dey r prepared to give him wateva he wants.Tell me which gerl won't b hurt upon hearing dat... Dat nite he wanted to meet me. Den im not sure weather i shud mit him or not. His fren zul gave me a kol n was trying to encourage me to patch up with him.Den i decided dat nite to meet him to solve evrything.
I tot dat my realatnshp with him gonna end dere onli... he came with a sad face n i can c he was thinking too much. I tried to comfort him n treat him as a fren onli but it was so akward...hahaa! He started to confess n prove his love to me.. rmbr dat tyme i got tell u dat i bought for hima chain n a lighter... he brought it with him.He sae if he neva love me, he wud not even bother to wear the chain or bring the lighter. He sae the chain have neva left him b4.Evrywer he go he bring it along... i close my ear wen he said dat cuz i dun wana listen to all his sweet words.It just make my feelings towards him grow more...finalie he sae if i dun love him, i won't stop him from jumping... the moment he wana jump, i hold him very tightly. I dun wana lose him.He den ask me weather im serious abt the breakup n i said i didn't mean it.
I noe he will neva gonna let me go easily... i hope he will b truthful to me from now on... just hope so lah...
11:40 AM
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
What is the meaning of love? The care n concern sumone shows towards u.I wish i can feel n sense it.... the past 3 mths i feel dat we hv a lot of difference.I realie love u a lot n prepare to sacrifice anithing except 4 my v.... y cant u even understand? I cant fathom y must u b unfaithful 2wards me... all my trust for u have shattered like pieces of glass...y cant u shower me with the love dat i needed??? Im dying for dat... u have a lot of gerl frens dat i dun mynd at least u noe ur limits but in dis case d wae u msg dem make them hv the wrong idea... I dun feel special aniemore. I just feel dat im just another spare tire...Am i not a good enuff for u? Y muz everything end up lyke diz... i suffer a lot for u... i bear all the vulgarities dat u used to scold me... i take as a positive wae dat u care for me... its so hard for me to let u go since ur my 1st love... i dun wan to b treated lyke diz... wen i c couples outside very hapie 2gather,i envy them... i dun even noe weather u love me or not... i kept thinking but no ans came into my mynd.. y muz love b so torturing... on ur bdae i steel rmbr seeing the word aishah syg another gerl whu likes him... i cant believe my eyes.Dat was the name i saw with my own eyes... tell me whu won't b mad... i didn't show it to him but my heart aches a lot.At dat tyme my tears was going to trickle down my cheeks but i tried to control... i cant show my anger 2wards him... dat was the strangest part. Im quite stupid y i muz b taken in with his sweetalker words...haiz...its so unfair.I dun wan him 2 do the same things again... im afraid im not able to take it....
1:35 PM
Well todae i muz sae its the most terrible n horrible dae of all dat i will eva rmbr in my life... wana noe wat happen...read on. My syg suddenly ask me weather i wana bed with him... i was shocked as to why he ask dat. Im not a cheap gerl whu will anyhow sleep with guys.He was mad wen i gave my ans as 'no'. He kept pestering me to give my virginity to him... i was lyke wad the heck... at that point of tyme i was totalie angry.I ask him y r u so eager to break my v... n guess wats is his response? He sae he dun wana lose me n once i bed with him im his n i will rmbr him 4eva cuz he is the 1st 2 break my v... i can believe wateva im hearing sia... i kept giving him 'no' as an ans n he started giving me attitude. He sae i cannot give wat he wants n dun blame him if he eva went to bed with sumone else... my heart shattered wen i heard dat.It was so hurtful...its true i cnt give u sex but i can shower u with love,care n concern...he even sae dat i did not sacrifice anieting n im not making an effort for this relatnshp, i didn't expect all diz to cum out from his own mouth. He didn't noe dat i had to cope btw studies n him n i sacrifice my beauty sleep for him.I also neva fails to kol him in the middle of the nite despite having exam the nxt dae.Y can't u just think all the things dat i hv done for u...i realie love n care for u a lot.. y can't u even treasure me?
Lately he has been quite close with a gerl named ayu... i was quite jealous bcuz he told me dat d gerl gave him a kiss on the cheeks n hug him... the shocking thing was he neva avoid her or watsoeva n neva even tell her dat he was attached... it was too much for me to take it. Evrynite i kept thinking of it.He sae he neva flirt with her.He sae he wans me to b faithful... i tried my best to avoid my closest best guyfren so dat he wud b hapie dat im faithful to him.. but on the other hand he is not.I even tell ppl dat im atached.Y can't he just tell ppl dat...its plain simple wat... dat nite after we quarrel over the sex issue, he kol me n tol me dat he was unfaithful 2wards me... he had went to bed with ayu.. n she haven cum her menses.How cud u do this to me???? U noe how sad n depressed was i... i did not eat the whole dae n it realie disgust me....he was so scared dat she wud b pregnant... he kol me n i did not pickup. Lastly after17 miss kal... i dcided to pickup his fone kol...he shouted at me as 2 y i didn't not pickup d fone. I was not in the mood to talk wat... he sae all gerls realie noe how to sakit hati guys... i realie dun noe wad wrong have i done... y muz all turn up lyke diz.... he sae he wan me to stick with him even if ayu is pregnant with hiz child... i cant even think of sharing my love with another gerl...i realie dunoe wad to do...
I noe i love him soo much despite a lot of heartbreaks he had caused in me...i kept asking myself y im steel holding on to him...i noe i can live without him its just dat i cant bear to c him suffer..he sae he will noe the result wen she consult a doctor... after she return from doctor, she sae she was pregnant... dat tyme i realie gave up. I dun wana b the 3rd party so i kept asking him to take care of ayu since she is carrying his child. I kept crying... i reali cant accept the facts... lastly i put down the fone without saying bye... the nxt dae he kol me n he got to noe dat she was not pregnant.. she was trying to make him like her n accept her as his gerlfren... i was relieved cuz i dun wan him 2 b too stess abt dis matter... it was easy for me 2 forgive but hard for me to forget wateva he has done to me.... it kept playing in my mynd. Im slowly trying to let him go even wen im steel with him... it realie hurt me very deep dat the wound inside me r steel fresh... onli time can hael the wound.
12:32 PM
Alohaa ppl...realie sorie for updating my blog very late.I was quite busy with a lot of stuff for the past few weekz....heEx. Well i had a fight with my syg n my bestie which lead me to become depressed.At that time, my syg was looking thru my msg n he came upon dis msg regarding breakup.Wen he read dat msg,he was super duper furious sae... he started to scold vulgarities as a mean to vent his anger.Den he msg my bestie to stay out of my personal life.At that point of time i didn't noe wat to do...she was doing all diz bcoz she care for me... i understand.I was like stuck in the middle... seconds later i heard him crying.He was blaming himself as to why his life muz b like diz n why evryone dislike him... actualie i dun blame him cuz maeb he is stres due to his werk or watsoever... the 2nd concern was dat my bestie did not contact me for a few daez... i was so afraid im gona lose a good fren n i dun wan dat to happen.I tried to take both of their feelings into consideration... luckily within a few daez me n my bestie r on god terms n my syg put the past behind his back...fortunately it did not blow into a big matter or else i dunoe wat will happen sia...haiz.
12:15 PM
Welcome!
Love that is true never grows old.
It's Me
Nasreen aka nas
Nanyang Polytechnic
Year 3 graduating in 11 mths time
Student but gonna be staff nurse soon
Im in lurve with sumone who managed to find the key to my heart
Loves hanging out with frens,sociable,open minded and shopping.
Appreciate evry one dat appear in my life before..
